African Parenting – When it comes to African culture there was a unique way the parents disciplined their children, the taste they raised their children with as well as the new qualities that they were taught to safeguard their culture.
If you were born before the 19th century then you must be aware of the African way of raising kids. Most people who fall under this category I would say are much more disciplined apart from those who were thick head by default. But with today’s generation, they want to raise their kids in the western world way.
Had a chance to ask one parent why and was like trying to be digital. For those who had “harsh” parents would never dream raising their kids in such an environment but of course, some want to revenge the same with their kids.
Some would give examples of those hard moments when you had to milk the cows in the morning before going to school and in the evening pass by the garden to get Napier grass. Others would not imagine who on earth would beat their kids in a manner proposing to unit them with their ancestors.
Moments when you would wish to attend school on Saturday to escape the thousand task awaiting you at home from the first cockcrow to the very late evening. Those with animals to graze would feel lucky to escape the household chores but that would not be the case if you played and accidentally the animals messed with someone’s crops or you lost one of the sheep or goat.
Someone would proudly say it is for those tough moments that am the person I am today. But what of your kids? With this long holiday that you have been with your kids could you be a proud parent or you are among those parents who are being stressed out by their kids behavior?
I have experience some parents sending their kids to their grandparents since they could not handle their behaviors. Unlike in your error where being sent to your grandparents was a heaven-sent moment to escape the little “prison” home.
Some would refer it to prison due to the strict rules they had to adhere to without anyone reminding you otherwise some tough consequences would follow that you would not like to face.
Some can not withstand going back to the house to meet the kids they raised. Imagine some go back to the house and find it worse than they left it with dirty utensils all over, a dirty house with nothing to eat.
Bare it in mind they are grown-up kids who have been enjoying watching and playing ps the whole day. The kids know that it’s their mum’s job to fix the house and I can’t blame them for that.
They were molded the wrong way. When could they learn to wash the utensils when you wanted them to be with the tutor? When could they learn how to clean the house while the nanny was around and you baptized it as the nanny’s job? When could they learn how to clean their clothes when it was time for a family outing on weekends?
Then there are these parents who want to revenge on their kids but on a positive intention. Most of them are busy parents who are busy trying to hustle for their kids and in return they want their kids to appreciate it by taking care of the house when they are away.
The firstborn is given the privilege to rule and ensure everything is under control. They supervise the young one’s as one wash the dishes while the other dust the house as they do the cooking. In these moments when we use gas cookers, everyone must be cautious enough to avoid accidents.
These kinds of parents come back to the house and feel so relaxed and proud. At work they are relieved knowing everything back home is in order and for the past six months, these are the kind of parents who look at their kids and say for sure I raised you well.
Its not a punishment to allow your kids learn some house chores or even some farm work. The African way can be tough but you don’t have to copy everything mostly the terrible beating to make your kids learn.
Bit by bit you introduce those activities to them without being a burden to them or yourself. You can not train one to cook chapati before they learn how to prepare tea or plain rice. You don’t have to let them wash two basins of the family clothes before they learn to wash the basics.
In western countries children have more power over their parents but here we are privileged we can mold them better. We don’t have to suffer depression due to the effects of the bad ways we raise children. There is no guilt in being an African when it comes to discipline.
There will come a time when you are gone or the children are of the age that they will look back and be happy with the way you raised them or will wish you had raised them better. Don’t be a part of the regrets. The six months have possibly given you answers to what kind of a parent you are. And it’s never too late to make changes.